Skip to main content

E.B.M.I.A. (Easter Bunny Missing in Action)

This year was the first that I did not create Easter baskets for the Big Boys. I was distraught that I did not have time to make the usual “arrangements” for the “Easter Bunny” to bring them baskets loaded with Pringles, Cadbury Eggs, Fiddle Faddle and the other favorite treats he has always delivered. I felt like a rotten mother. The Husband poo-poo'd the notion claiming that it was highly unlikely that the Big Boys would hold it against me for not delivering them Easter baskets. They were, after all, grown men and probably stopped expecting Easter baskets from the Easter Bunny eons ago. Still, I felt like they might have been disappointed (they weren't). It was just lucky that I had a stash of Pop Rocks and Starbursts handy, and I was able to make sure that the Little Boys received their baskets from the Easter Bunny. Unfortunately, I didn’t wake up early enough to put them on the doorstep and the boys were already awake by the time I got out of bed, so I had to perform a charade of going out to get the paper which we haven’t subscribed to nor received since the Bush administration. T was as excited as ever to find his basket loaded with sweets and didn’t question how they happened to arrive on our doorstep, but J had already sniffed out the truth like an old fish.

“Hey Mom?” he said stuffing Starbursts in his mouth (before breakfast!).

“Yep.” I answered, peeling the first of about twenty-four hard-boiled eggs that would be deviled and carted off to my sister's house for the annual Easter Brunch.

“I know the Easter Bunny isn’t real,” he whispered.

“How do you know?” I whispered back.

“Well, for one, I found the candy stashed in the pantry. Secondly, I noticed that the Easter Bunny has human feet. And he was wearing Converse." (He was talking about the mall bunnies). "And," he continued, "we don't even get the newspaper."

"Did you tell your little brother?" I knew the jig was up and there'd be no sense in trying to change his mind. The kid is pretty smart after all.

"Nope."

"Okay, let's just keep this a secret."

And we did. I loved that J, number one, did not devour the stash he discovered in the pantry, and number two, allowed his brother maybe another year of childhood innocence. So, while I was proud of J for being able to restrain himself from eating the candy (which I know must have required super-human willpower) I was also just a little sad that my baby had outgrown the idea of the Easter Bunny--who, I still maintain, is alive and well. Even the Big Boys never question or doubt his existence. And I know that they do this to make me happy. And also, quite likely, so they can continue to receive the bounty of junk food bestowed upon them from their long-eared benefactor. I am sure that the Easter Bunny will return next year with a vengeance.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

The Secret Life of Sam Le Roy

Sam Le Roy is J’s dog. He is not a real dog. The Husband says we can’t have a real dog or anything else that poops. We have a cat and The Husband is on cat-poop detail because after the kids were born, I thought it was only fair that he had to clean someone else’s poop too. J asked for a dog and his request was duly rejected even after he promised to clean up any dog poop (yeah right). So J sort of kidnapped Sam Le Roy. Sam Le Roy actually belonged to my sister, Deeva, and his name was not really Sam Le Roy. I think it was Harold, after the semi-professional basketball player she was dating at the time who, by the way, gave her Sam Le Roy (then Harold) as a gift. That is why he wears a basketball jersey and sneakers, and if you squeeze his right paw he says “Woof Woof! (pant pant pant pant) Woof Woof!” and if you squeeze his left paw he says in a very deep voice: “Why you just sittin’ there lookin’ at me? Pet me. Squeeze me. Love me. Do somethin’ Girl!” So, one afternoon, t...

Christmas Chaos

I am engulfed in chaos. It is the onset of the pre-holiday madness that happens every year no matter how I hard I try to avoid it. This year, I confess, I did not try. There are many things going on over which I have no control so I have given up on trying and have decided to embrace the chaos. I’ve hung the decorations and put up a tree but I am not tending to details like baking or “correcting” Christmas light snafus. There is an entire bottom of a bush that is naked of Christmas lights. The Husband and I definitely don’t follow the same Christmas Light Hanging Code. He’s okay with tossing a few lights on a few random bushes, but I want to be able to see my house from space. I overheard him complaining to the neighbor that the only thing saving him from spending more than an hour hanging lights are the ones that won’t light up which he gleefully tosses. I wonder if he crushes those tiny bulbs between his fingers just so he can throw out the whole string (he wouldn't!--would he?)...

Peter

I went away on an overnight trip a few weeks ago and I while I was doing some serious window shopping in an overpriced boutique my cell phone rang. It was J. He was all excited and blabbing at about a million words per second and I could only make out a few words. J: ...blah blah blah garage!...blah blah cage!...blah blah blah blah dead mice in our ‘frigerator!!!!... Me: Dead WHAT? Let me speak to your father! But instead T got on the phone: Yeah! And the dead mice don’t even have hair!... Then The Husband got on the phone: Hi Honey, are you having fun? Me: What’s this about dead mice in our fridge!? I absolutely can not ever come home if there are rodents in our fridge. I do not want to open a packet of foil expecting to see leftover spaghetti and find hairless rodents instead! Then The Husband said: Hahahahaha (that’s him laughing). No no no no no! The dead mice are gone. The snake already ate them. Me: WHAT SNAKE? (that’s me yelling). The Husband: Well, we found this snake in the ga...